• Sridhar Rajendran

Day 16 — Special snowflake syndrome

Updated: Aug 23, 2018

Are you saying the world does not revolve around me?

Image credit: Pexels

Once I settled back into my old routine, I was back to focusing on UX. Finally, the subscription I was paying for Adobe XD each month is now justified. My first step was updating my resume and polishing my resume before I start applying for jobs. I spent about two days tweaking my resume, getting feedback and correcting the typos. I was quite proud of my work. In hindsight, my resume was totally crap and I wouldn’t have hired me. It is a story for another day.

I re-visited my portfolio and website. Things seemed fine, just a few pixels pushed. I awarded myself a trophy for turning up. Oh, the naivety of the millennial youth.

Image credit: GIPHY

My initial plan was to spend a month or two studying and practising, maybe even get an apprenticeship to learn on the job. But then staring at the ceiling for 4 months can short-circuit certain neural pathways. I craved for dopamine and I need it right now. So rather than doing the logical thing of improving my skills, I spent my time applying for jobs; despite knowing there is still a lot to learn.

The activity of crafting cover letters and uploading resumes appears enticing. It gives a sense of completion and reward. I must have worked really hard if I submitted 50 copy of my badly written resume and poorly aligned portfolio. I deserve to watch another episode of Downtown Abbey!

Doing real work is hard. It sucks. Nobody likes to make mistakes. But unfortunately, that is the only way to learn. I did sign up for the Daily UI challenge and the Daily UX challenge. I did it for 2–3 days and gave up. It took a lot of time. I didn’t want to upload it on Behance or Dribble because my work looked shitty.

Giving up was a huge mistake I did. While learning anything new, the initial wave of excitement fades in a few days. Then reality sets in and everything seems drab and pointless. But it is important to show up every single day. It doesn’t matter how crappy the designs are. Quantity produces quality over time.

Screwing up is the only way to learn anything.

I came up several reasons to not do the grunt work

  • I want to focus on UX, making things look pretty is not my job. Duh!

  • I have worked for 7 years (as a coder) but I am sure that experience counts. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

  • Some random person on the Internet did a re-design of a big company’s website/app and got job offers. I will do something like that. I am just waiting for the ‘right inspiration’. The chances are 1 in million. But I am a special snowflake. I need to believe that and use ‘positive affirmations and visualisations’ every day. Then the Universe will bring those opportunities to me. Big spoiler alert: nobody cares about you; maybe your parents care little. That’s about it.