• Sridhar Rajendran

Day 13 — Abyss of doom

Updated: Aug 23, 2018

No amount of wishful thinking can change destiny

Image credit: Pexels

A day after I put down my papers, I woke up with a sharp back pain that left me debilitated. Initially, I thought this was just another ‘oil check’ light blinking again. But my body had different plans. I decided to take a day off and rest. I felt quite guilty for doing this the day after handing in my notice. If Jews and Catholics think they have mastered guilt, wait till you meet an Indian. The next day was no better.

My physiotherapist hooked me up to fancy machines that would supposedly heal me. 3 days in and no improvement. Living alone sucks when you are sick. My dad drove 6 hours to come and take care of me.

Did I mention that I hurt both my wrists a month back through some freak incident and they just wouldn’t heal? And my neck has been hurting for months so much that I could not turn my head more than 30 degrees either way. Yup, it was a triple bonanza!

Looking back I wish I had paid more attention to what my body was saying. Or rather as Mark Manson says, “Give fewer f*cks about your feelings”. It was not the workload that stressed me out but me thinking about working so hard and feeling guilty for not taking rest or taking a break and feel guilty for not ‘hustling’. None of my doctors could figure out a direct cause for any of my health issues. Was it triggered due to stress or just karma, guess we’ll never know.

My dad drove me to hospitals in Bangalore for a day or two and once we didn’t see any progress, we decided to move back home. Caregiving would be easy with more family members. And I am so grateful for my loving family 🙏. As a last-ditch attempt, we decided to visit a chiropractor in Mysore recommended by a friend.

Dr.Rob was truly an angel who played a great role in my recovery. After one session, I was able to at least sit properly for a few minutes. The only problem was Mysore was 6–7 hours from home and certain stretches of the roads coursed through mountain ranges and filled with potholes. Not really a good thing for someone with a back like spongy cheese. But I had no other choice as this was the only treatment my body was responding to.

And so for the next few weeks, my dear dad drove me to Mysore every couple of days to see my chiropractor. As luck would have it, things began to worse here too. I camped in Mysore and refused to leave until I was moderately well. And thankfully it did in a few days.

It was not easy to bear the pain of having my spine re-adjusted without any medications. But I didn’t want to get any surgery done on my spine. So I was ready to bear any pain. It almost seems like the long list of ailments I have suffered since childhood had prepared me for this moment. Drum rolls, please. 🥁

Over 1.5 months my health slowly improved. I spent the most part of the day lying down. Looking at the ceiling ceases to be fun after the 500th time. Thank God (and Steve Jobs) for iPad. On the bright side, I could finally catch up with all the TV Shows and movies on my watchlist.